


Change

by literally_jams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (Just a little bit), Blasphemy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literally_jams/pseuds/literally_jams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you ever wish we were different?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> (kinda canon divergence, everything is the same except sam lives in an apartment, away from dean and cas)

Lucifer takes a deep breath. Was he really ready to do this? No. But he had to at some point. He better do it now. Hesitant, he raised a hand to knock on the slightly chipped, red, wood in front of him. He started out lightly, then he knocked harder when he realized no one can hear him. After what seemed like an acceptable time for knocking, he lowers his hands and shoved them into his pockets. It felt like hours. Hours until the door got answered. In reality, it was a minute, maybe two. Then finally, finally, the door swung open to reveal who Lucifer’s been looking for, for so many months. Sam Winchester. Sam Winchester, in all his glory. Tall and beautiful as ever.  
After a silence, Lucifer finally stuttered out, “S-Sam.”

The hunter hesitated. Oh, probably because Satan just showed up in front of his door. “Hi,” he says. Or rather, breathes.

Lucifer didn’t know what to say next, so he spilled. “I’m sorry.”

The only thing he said is, “I know.”

“Do you forgive me?” The words fled from his mouth.

Almost reluctant, Sam seemed to pause. His expression showed wariness. The single word he said makes Lucifer’s heart skip a beat. Maybe two. “Sure.”

But it wasn’t the truth. The blonde knew that. He could feel his heart bleed by a small amount. He’d never lie to Sam, but Sam felt the need to take pity on him and lie about forgiving him. “You-You don’t have to lie to me. I...I can leave if you want.”

“You can stay.” He reassured.

Lucifer only nodded.

There was a silence. Waiting for the other to speak. Waiting for the other to voice the words that should have been said, such a long time ago.

Sam eyed him before offering a drink, which the blonde only shrugged to. The brunet gave him a Guinness bottle. Lucifer didn’t mention he didn’t drink, but couldn’t deny Sam. He took a sip of the drink and tried his hardest to keep a straight face. He didn’t make it, but then again, when is he ever straight? Lucifer felt something. He felt an wanting. A wanting to know Sam Winchester. From the small amount of time he spent with him, he didn’t get much. The archangel was here now, in the presence of him. When will he ever have the time to do this again?   
“How is everything?” Lucifer asked.

“Okay, I guess. Not much is going on.” Sam shrugged.

The archangel stops and bit his lip. “Do..Do you ever wish things were different?” The words he’s been needing to say all these years are finally out. Ever since meeting Sam, the seven words haunted him.

“All the time.” Lucifer couldn’t help but think about the way Sam had said the words. It felt, almost, repeated. Worn down. Something he had thought about before. Rehearsed.

The blonde’s already said that, why stop there? Words and phrases and clusters of noises flood like a dam from his mouth. “I wish we met under different circumstances.” He said quickly, “I wish I met you at Stanford. I wish you weren't a hunter, and I, the Devil.” Through all he’s confessed, there was so, so much more Lucifer wanted to say. _“I wish you didn’t hate me.” “I wish you loved me like I love you.”_ Held back in his mind.

“That would have been a million times better.” Damn. He said it so easily. Lucifer bet he didn’t know how difficult it was to say those words.

Lucifer smiled sadly. “Yeah, it would.”

It seemed like the hunter had a liking towards hesitation, as he did it again. For what felt like the thousandth time. “......We could start over.”

“Really?” Lucifer answered. Could they really? After everything they’ve been through, could they really have a clean slate?

Sam nodded.

Ecstatic, the blonde thrusts out his right hand and grinned. “Hi. I’m Lucifer.

The brunet caught on quickly and shook his hand. “Sam Winchester, nice to meet you.”

“And I, you. Tell me, Sam, what do you like to read?” This could be it. This could mean everything to Lucifer. Maybe he has a chance to do things right this time around.

The former’s face lit up, and Lucifer swore, it was worth roughly a billion suns and then some. “Mostly everything. Fiction, biographies, Fantasy.”

“Classics?” Man, was the archangel lucky he spent so much time reading.

The hunter smiled. He smiles a _dimple smile_ and God knows how hard it is to get one of those out of Sam Winchester. “Yes. Anything from the 50's and back must be read.” He answered.

The blonde only beamed.

“What do you do when you're not reading?” Sam returned his grin and damn, Lucifer felt himself do it again. He felt himself falling in all different ways, once again.

Lucifer thought for a moment. “I like music, a lot. I write. Um....Not a lot, now to think about it.” He reminisced about his coffee shop days and added, “Oh, I'm a pretty good barista.” What a year that was.

The hunter nodded and he almost looked interested in what Lucifer has to say.  
“Sounds like you have a lot to offer. I'm not good anything else.” He shrugged.

The blonde tried his hardest not to scream things from their past. But was he serious? Sam Winchester? Who is kind, selfless, beautiful, and amazing in every sense of the word? Sam Winchester, who managed to give the Devil a weakness. “No, actually. I think you’re interesting. Opinion on music?” He questioned.

Sam tilted his head, and dear lord, someone shoot the archangel if he says he didn’t crumble right there and then. “Well…” the brunet started, “I don't really listen to it much. The only time I do is when I'm with my brother, Dean and he blasts Led Zeppelin.”

Lucifer had to smile when Sam said “my brother, Dean.” as if he didn’t know. “Led Zeppelin.” He repeated.

“You don't like them?”

The blonde shrugged. “Well I mean, they're alright.”

“Dean would kill you alright,” Sam added, “What about movies? Do you like those?”

The archangel felt his face form a stupid, big grin. “Yeah!”

Lucifer tried to read the hunter’s expression and the answer the got was ‘nervous’. Sam was being nervous. “We can watch one if you want?” He added a shy smile.

His smile was so contagious. Lucifer couldn’t help but smile back, then he said, “Sure, why not?”

Sam walked to the bookshelf, half full of books, the other half with movies. He crouched down and turned to Lucifer. “What do you feel like watching?”

The archangel shrugged. “Whatever you like, though I’m feeling Marvel.”

Sam turned back at the bookshelf. “Marvel. I think I have some of those around. Anything in particular?” He ran his fingers through the assortment of films.

“Nah, your pick.” The blonde answered, sitting himself down on the couch and watching Sam.

“Captain America all right?”

“Winter Soldier?”

“Yeah!”

“Let’s do it.”

The brunet slid the disc in the player and sits next to Lucifer. Maybe closer than he intended, but hey, none of them are complaining.

Half way into the movie is when Lucifer realized that he hasn’t been paying attention, at all. He couldn’t care less about cute Steve Rogers and his boyfriend Bucky Barnes. Alright, maybe he did, but whatever. He turned to look at Sam, features relaxed. When Sam raised his eyebrows and glanced to him, the archangel only says, “You have beautiful eyes.” It wasn’t a lie. Sam had truly mesmerizing eyes. Throughout the years, Lucifer’s noted them to be a hazel brown or a chocolate brown. Sometimes a green, on the edge of grass and emerald.

A light pink blush graced over Sam’s cheeks, and he turns to look at Lucifer. “R-Really?” He stuttered and it’s so goddamn adorable to the archangel.

Lucifer only nodded.

"Thanks.." The hunter mumbled.

The blonde flashed a smile at him and turned back to the movie. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

It's a minute and 27 seconds later when he noticed Sam turned to look at him and smiled. When he shot him a questioning look, all Sam said was, "You. I'm looking at you."

"Why?" Lucifer questioned, suddenly self-conscious.

The brunet only shrugged and gave him another dimple smile. The archangel still couldn't believe it, Sam Winchester warmed up to Satan. Who burns cold.

So maybe he didn't intend to do what he did. Maybe Lucifer did intend it. At this point, he, himself, doesn't know what the hell he's doing. His right hand wandered until it found Sam's, linking their fingers together. He looked at Sam for approval.

Sam smiled and squeezed their hands closer. Maybe it was heat of the moment, but Lucifer swore Sam pulled him closer.

Lucifer didn’t even know how much time passes without him paying attention. Daydreaming about the person right next to him. Until he feels warm skin pressed to his right cheek. After it left, his head snapped to Sam, who's looked shy and tried to make himself look smaller than he actually was with a small smile. Was this real? Someone better pinch Lucifer. No, someone needs to punch the archangel straight in the jaw to make him believe this. He decided to screw it, if it was a figure of his imagination, at least he could cross off what not to do when meeting Sam Winchester again. He doesn't do anything sudden. Only lets out a small whisper, "Can I kiss you?"

Sam nodded.

They're kissing, and Lucifer's never felt so happy. It was slow and sweet, and everything Lucifer ever wanted. He pulled away and bumped Sam's forehead.

Maybe a clean slate was all they needed to a love bigger than universes and stronger than black holes.


End file.
